I spent a week with 'sex tourism widows' - the despairing wives and daughters of older men flocking to Thailand for 'love'. Their stories - and damning photos - will break your heart: 'He won the lottery and I never saw him again'

As a sex columnist, I've seen it all.

Swinging, cheating, cuckolding, orgasm communes, 'chemsex'. You name it, I've written about it. Nothing shocks me anymore.

And I'm not judgmental, either (can you imagine if I was?!) As a rule, my view on sex is this: if you're two consenting adults - go for it.

But there's one thing that really, really gives me the ick. Sex tourism.

And, in particular, that particular type of sex tourism involving older white men from countries like the UK, US and Australia disappearing to Asia to find younger wives.

Sure, it's not a crime, but it just feels so damn seedy.

You know the type - there are viral TikTok accounts dedicated to them. They're at the Bangkok bars with receding hairlines, beer bellies and loud tropical shirts.

And, somehow, they are never short of local female company.

If you were glued to The White Lotus like I was, you'll know them as LBHs, or 'Losers Back Home'. They're nothing special in their home town, but fancy themselves as gods in Thailand, where local women cling to them, typically out of financial despair.

But these aren't just sleazy holiday flings with men old enough to know better.

I spent the last week speaking to the shattered ex-wives and adult children of these men who vanished from suburbia and popped up in Bangkok or Phuket - reborn as playboys, their arms draped over women young enough to be their daughters.

Free from the burdens of bills, jobs and 'nagging' wives, these paunchy bores are treated like royalty abroad. Addressed as 'sir,' their money buys them youth, adulation and compliance.

Meanwhile, the women left behind are selling furniture to keep the lights on, while their children grieve for a father who is still very much alive.

It's sex tourism dressed up as 'true love'. And if you think that sounds dramatic, I suggest you brace yourselves before you read what some families have told me.

'He gave my engagement ring to a bar girl'

This harrowing story comes from a woman whose husband had been flying back and forth to Thailand after falling in love with a much younger woman.

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'I noticed my engagement ring was missing from the dish on my bedside table. I asked my husband, and he said he had taken it to be resized because it looked loose. I wanted to believe him, because he knows how much that ring means to me and I have always tried to be a trusting person.

'But two weeks later, my sister sent me a photo that had been doing the rounds on Facebook.

'My husband was in a bar in Thailand, his arm around a young woman who looked about 20. She had one hand lifted to the camera and my diamond was on her finger.

'When I confronted my husband, he didn't deny it. He told me she appreciated him in a way I never did, and that she deserved something beautiful. He packed up his things and booked a one-way ticket back to Thailand.

'I spent the next week in bed, bawling my eyes out. Not because of the ring, although that hurt, but because I finally understood what he'd chosen. He'd chosen the version of himself that exists far away from school assemblies and electricity bills.

'I've since heard from his former best friend that when he went back he couldn't track her down. Yes, she had duped him out of my diamond. He wasn't heartbroken for long, as he has since moved on to another young woman.

'I hope the same thing happens all over again.'

The parcel on the doorstep

An adult daughter shared the heartbreaking moment she discovered her father had a baby with his much younger Thai partner.

'When my dad moved to Bangkok after divorcing my mum, he still made small gestures to suggest we were in his thoughts. He sent postcards and cheap T-shirts from the markets.

'When the phone calls dwindled and eventually stopped, the parcels still arrived, and I clung to them as proof he hadn't forgotten us.

'One afternoon, a delivery driver dropped off a box at Mum's house. Dad had never updated his postal details, so packages for him still arrived there. Mum texted him, and he told us to open it and keep the contents until his next trip home.

'We opened it, and inside were tiny baby clothes. Nestled on top was a note that said: "For little Mali, all my love, Dad."

'That was the moment we found out he had fathered another child with his much younger Thai girlfriend.

'There had been no phone call and no attempt to explain himself. We then trawled through Facebook and found the proof: a photo of him cradling her bump.

'Turns out our Dad had become a cliché of every older man who moves to Thailand. I've never met his partner - or my half-sister, for that matter - and I don't plan on ever speaking to him again.

'I would rather say my father passed away then admit to anyone that he moved to Thailand to start a family with a younger woman, without even having the decency to tell us.'

How the house disappeared

A divorced woman reveals how she lost her marital home to her husband's dodgy investment in his Asian partner's karaoke lounge.

'When our divorce was finalised, the consent orders stated that the family home was to remain in my name. It was the last stable thing for the kids. Their school was around the corner, and it had a backyard big enough for our three dogs.

'Six months later the bank called to say the loan on the house had fallen into arrears. I thought there had been a clerical error. Then I opened an envelope that explained what had happened.

'Before the settlement, my then-husband had quietly redrawn almost all the available equity on the mortgage. The repayments jumped. I took on extra shifts, but it wasn't enough and the lender forced us to sell.

'When I asked my ex where the money went, he admitted his partner overseas was opening a karaoke lounge and needed start-up costs.

'He said it as casually as if he were discussing a stock purchase. I packed our lives into boxes and moved the kids into a rental.

'It was the most honest moment of the whole marriage, in a way. It showed me exactly where our family sat in his list of priorities.'

'He's my husband now'

A cruel Facebook message was how this woman's mother first learned of her husband's secret life overseas.

'Dad had been going to Thailand more and more, always saying it was "business", though none of us really knew what he did, just that he worked in exports.

'My mother was old school, in the sense that she never really asked questions, just let him do his thing.

'One night, we were watching TV when Mum's phone pinged. It was a Facebook message from a woman she did not know. She opened it to find a wedding photo: a young woman in a cheap white dress, and beside her, Dad in a suit, grinning like a tourist. The caption said: "He is my husband now."

'Mum didn't really say much at first. She looked confused more than anything. She handed me the phone and just said, "Is this some kind of joke?" But it wasn't.

'That was how she found out he'd gone off and married someone else overseas, without even telling her he was leaving.

'She looked like she couldn't quite process it. Later, she kept saying things like, "Why didn't he just tell me?" and, "How long has this been going on?" It was heartbreaking for her, but for the rest of the family it was humiliating.

'That photo did more damage than any argument ever could. It wasn't just that he'd moved on, it was that he'd publicly declared a whole new life, and let a stranger be the one to break the news to us. None of us has spoken to him since.'

My brother's shocking act

This story took my breath away. It was about a brother - not a husband or father - and how his reckless sex tourism in Thailand put a strain on their entire family.

'I'll never forget the day I got a Facebook message from a young Thai woman I'd never met. Her English wasn't perfect, but the photos she attached made everything clear: she was pregnant and the father was my brother.

'At first, I thought it had to be a scam. Then I saw the photo of him with his arm around her, smiling like he was 20 again (he was 48).

'She explained they'd been together for months and that he'd told her he wanted a baby, specifically a son, to carry on the family name. He'd convinced her it was her ticket to security, that she'd be looked after for life if she gave him what he wanted.

'The end of the message was awful: "He say if baby is boy, he come back. If girl, no." Then she sent an ultrasound that was clearly a daughter.

'My brother disappeared on her. No more contact or money. He'd chased this fantasy of fathering a son overseas, and the second it didn't play out the way he wanted, he abandoned her and the baby completely.

'She begged me to speak to him, to make him take responsibility. She told me she couldn't face her own family without support, that they were ashamed of her.

'I couldn't comprehend how this man was my brother - the uncle who once read bedtime stories to my children. How could he be so cruel?

'Once we gathered all the proof we needed, my family ended up sending the woman money and have kept in contact. My brother still refuses to accept responsibility. He's now estranged from the family.'

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The lottery win

An unexpected windfall should have set this Australian family up for life. Instead, it planted the seeds of selfishness in a once-devoted family man.

'My husband and I were struggling with bills, juggling jobs, and raising our three-year-old when everything suddenly clicked into place. He won $500,000 in the lottery! For a week, I dreamt of paying off the mortgage, setting up our daughter's future, maybe even finally taking a family holiday.

'But instead of celebrating with us, he disappeared.

'A few weeks later, I found out through my mother-in-law that he had flown to Thailand, where he'd "married" a woman half his age in a traditional ceremony. He cut me and our daughter off completely.

'While he lives it up overseas, we're stuck scraping together rent. Our little girl still asks why Daddy doesn't come home. He chose to live like a king overseas instead.'

The embassy call

We end with an extremely satisfying story of a smug man who wanted to live like a king - only to end up the joker of the pack.

'My ex-husband announced to our family over lunch one day that he was moving to Asia because, in his words, women there "understand men". He bought himself new linen shirts and a gold chain, and told anyone who would listen that he'd never felt freer.

'About a year later, someone from the Australian embassy rang me. My ex had overstayed his visa, been detained, and needed someone to pay a fine so he could leave the country. His partner had taken all his money and gone.

'The consular officer asked whether I could assist because I was still listed as his next of kin. I smiled and told her that chapter was closed.'

In conclusion

So let's call it what it is: cowardice.

These men don't move to Asia because they want romance; they go because no woman their own age will tolerate their nonsense.

They trade in responsibility for cheap beer and the illusion of reclaimed youth, leaving their wives and ex-wives with the burden of paying bills and raising the family left behind. As for their own children, many never recover from the trauma of it all.

And while they might fancy themselves kings in those red-lit Bangkok bars, the reality is this: these men are little more than ageing wallets for vulnerable women.

They're neither admired nor respected - they are just a ticket out of poverty.

And if these blokes end up getting fleeced, frankly, they deserve it.